Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
