I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
