i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize