i don't like sucking hair
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
