just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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