how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
