Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
