he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
