he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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