oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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