its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
