Christians are straight up FREAKS
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
