Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
