Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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