i think i have herpe
just one?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Randomize
