remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
This is my life. Enjoy the view
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
