He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
