This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
