My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
