Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Two words: blizzard sex
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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