Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Randomize
