he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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