this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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