okay pat passed out under dana's car
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
