May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
