So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I fill condoms, not promises.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
