batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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