I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I have fence marks all over my body
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
