You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
