I wanna bring you to show and tell
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
