did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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