So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
