After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
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