just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
