I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
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