So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
ttyl tear gas
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
