these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Do vagina's smell?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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