she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
is that a dick in a sweater?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
