please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
