how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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