haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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