Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
