you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
