I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
