If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
