ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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