She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
