my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Im part way to drunk.
Randomize