You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
