Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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