You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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