so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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