My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
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