Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
