That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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