It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
