I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
you would pick up someone in the library
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
is it fun? or sober?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
