I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
