A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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