so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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