this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
