So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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