God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
FUCK WHALES
Randomize
