This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
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