Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
