he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Alive.
So much puke
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize