Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
sarcasm needs its own font
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
