I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
