Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
