We should be called the Road Head Warriors
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
