Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize