Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
