Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
