Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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