It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
